May 24, 2013

[Flash Fiction] The Darkest Part of the Wood

This is a piece for Anna Meade’s flash fiction contest at Yearning for Wonderland. With apologies to Tracy McCusker, who’s heard this idea somewhere before.

# # #

They’d brought her to the country to heal. The fresh air will do you good, they’d said. As if the creaking house and smell of rotting October leaves would somehow undo the slow cellular unraveling inside her. As if she’d ever be allowed outside in the cold autumn rain.

Here was her life. A beachhead of pillows above shoals of white sheets, armies of prescription bottles standing sentry, favorite books stacked in a hopeless fortress against boredom. The distant murmurs of her parents, in some parallel universe where people were healthy.

Rest, and get well.

Then one night she saw the goblinoid shadow, rendered by moonlight, flicker across her bed. The skittering of tiny feet on the roof.

She’d hid under the covers, quivering in terror. In the morning, she’d found a tiny doll. Knots of pale yarn, raisins for eyes, a blank idiot smile stitched across its face. A dry topknot of hair. Her hair.

It liked her.

So she waited. When her parents brought her cookies, she saved one for it. When she saw its shadow in the corner, she begged it to speak. But it never did.

Not until one rain-sheeted midnight when she felt bony fingers take her hand, and woke to see pale yellow eyes glimmering in the dark.

Come home.

It held her hand and beckoned her to follow. Down the stairs in her bare feet, out into the cold wet grass and cold rain and the fresh air her parents had wanted her to have. It whispered of adventures.

She was so happy she barely noticed the first rasping cough that shook her as she followed her friend into the thorny darkness of the wood.

Come home with us, it said. Wither, and live forever.

Sicken, and be healed.

# # #



About Daniel Swensen

Daniel Swensen is a fantasy / sci-fi enthusiast, amateur cineaste, avid reader, and compulsive writer, authoring everything from RPG gamebooks to cell phone advertisements. He lives in the hinterlands with his wife and two cats. His fantasy novel, Orison, will be published by Nine Muse Press in 2013.

  • http://www.goingforcoffee.blogspot.com/ Jo-Anne (jtvancouver)

    Daniel, stunningly beautiful writing and wonder-full.

    • http://www.surlymuse.com Daniel Swensen

      Thank you so much, Jo-Anne.

  • Rowanwolf

    Wow the descriptions in the second paragraph are priceless. Wonderful entry!

    • http://www.surlymuse.com Daniel Swensen

      Thank you, Rowanwolf!

  • http://dustyjournal.com/ Tracy McCusker

    Oh goblinoid shadow, you are my favorite of all shadows. xD

    Very well-done, Mr. Swensen! I think you did this concept justice with its otherworldly brevity.

    • http://www.surlymuse.com Daniel Swensen

      Thanks, Tracy. :) Not quite the same story we discussed, but hey, everybody’s doing reboots these days…

  • http://twitter.com/Angela_Goff Angela Goff

    L.O.V.E.

    Now I want to read more. :D

    • http://www.surlymuse.com Daniel Swensen

      Perhaps someday you will!

  • Wendy

    Daniel, beautiful story and yet frightening as well. Wonderfully written.

    • http://www.surlymuse.com Daniel Swensen

      Thank you very much, Wendy.

  • pam

    This is just lovely

    • http://www.surlymuse.com Daniel Swensen

      Thank you, Pam!

  • Bernadette Davies

    Absolutely loved this. Beautiful story.

    • http://www.surlymuse.com Daniel Swensen

      Thank you so much, Bernadette.

  • http://twitter.com/BrewedBohemian JennM

    Nice creepy ending!

    • http://www.surlymuse.com Daniel Swensen

      Thank you Jenn!

  • http://twitter.com/SJIHolliday Susi Holliday

    Oh wow – that’s brilliantly creepy! Well done :)

    • http://www.surlymuse.com Daniel Swensen

      Thanks, Susi, glad you liked it!

  • http://twitter.com/DonnaBMcNicol Donna B. McNicol

    You are my hero….amazing story telling with a bittersweet end. Yummy!

    • http://www.surlymuse.com Daniel Swensen

      Wow, thank you for the great compliment, Donna.

  • Rebecca Fyfe

    Beautiful and creepy! Really enjoyed reading this. :)

    • http://www.surlymuse.com Daniel Swensen

      Thank you, Rebecca!

  • http://twitter.com/ruanna3 Anna Meade

    Daniel, you really captured the beautiful darkness at the core of a true fairy story. Well done and thank you for entering.

    • http://www.surlymuse.com Daniel Swensen

      Thank you for having me. :) It was a pleasure.

  • Ellen S.

    Great story, Dan! I love changeling related stories. Also, Yearning for Wonderland is such a cool blog, thanks for sharing it.

    • http://www.surlymuse.com Daniel Swensen

      My pleasure, Ellen, thank you.

  • J. Whitworth Hazzard

    Beautifully creepy. Very well done, Daniel. Poor little girl… :(

    • http://www.surlymuse.com Daniel Swensen

      Thanks, J. My feelings exactly!

  • http://www.darcytodracula.com/ Margaret (@charitygirlblog)

    Absolutely wonderful. I was completely gripped and completely engrossed. From the detail to the scene setting… great stuff.

    • http://www.darcytodionysus.com/ Margaret (@charitygirlblog)

      And for the record – my top pick of them all!

      • http://www.surlymuse.com Daniel Swensen

        Thank you so much, Margaret!

  • Dee

    Loved this! Fantastically chilling.

    • http://www.surlymuse.com Daniel Swensen

      Thank you, Dee!

  • Sara Leggeri

    So sweet and so chilling. Beautiful!

    • http://www.surlymuse.com Daniel Swensen

      Thanks so much, Sara.

  • http://blog.amaliadillin.com/ Amalia T.

    I LOVE the ending, how it inverts everything so perfectly. Really well done — the perfect amount of detail balanced with the pacing. Excellent story!

    • http://www.surlymuse.com Daniel Swensen

      Thank you!